How One Gay Black Woman Feels Right Now

Updated: Aug 6


There’s maybe too much to be said about what is happening right now and communicating my thoughts has seemed impossible. At the risk of echoing so many others, but still so necessary to express, Black people deserve better. Black men deserve better. Black women deserve better. Black trans and genderqueer people deserve better. And Black children deserve better.

Every day, I’m angry, sad, full of grief, and extremely anxious, but simultaneously I am empowered, excited, and focused on the future. I’m so grateful to everyone -- white, Black, Asian, or anything other socially constructed race I have not mentioned -- who have chosen to risk their physical safety by protesting in a society that is all too quickly becoming militarized and fascist in the middle of a GLOBAL pandemic. I'm also thankful for those who cannot be on the front lines, but are organizing, donating money and resources, and amplifying Black voices via the news or social media. Every role is important.

At the same time, I’m pissed at everyone (especially those that are Black) that are choosing to stay silent, inactive, or are totally ignoring the cause. In a word, it is pathetic! Regardless of how much money you have, or how many white friends or family members you have, in the end, you are BLACK. You at least owe it to your future children and to your ancestors to work hard to secure an America that grants equality to all of its citizens.

In general, this is rough. This is horrible. This TRAUMATIZING. Watching the police and the horrible leadership in office (specifically our inane President) mishandle and brutalize protesters is taking a major toll on everyone. Do not downplay the pain that is ingrained into every conscious Black person living in this country and around the world right now.

My generation has been watching Black people lose their life to the police via social media and the news since we were very young. TOO young and I cannot fathom the pain of the freedom fighters who came before us (often simply imagined as our parents).

What we are experiencing is nothing short of a revolution. What we are feeling is the result of generations of racial degradation. And what a lot of Black people are experiencing is nothing short of PTSD. Protest if you are able, stay up to date if you are able, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Meditate, breathe, or bathe. Soothe yourself so that you may keep your head from constantly spinning as more information comes to light. The last thing we need to do right now is lose people on the front lines, or in this movement at all, due to mental or emotional exhaustion.

All in all:

  • Stay prepared for the worst at protests

  • Take care of your mental health

  • Donate to the cause

  • Check on your Black friends and family

  • WASH YOUR HANDS!!!

  • And Black lives f*ckin' matter

#blacklivesmatter #selflove #queerpoc

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